5 ways to be kinder to yourself

The goal is simple, be kinder to yourself. Call it a Mother’s curse or just something in general. But I am forever placing myself on the back burner. I am always burning the candle at both ends and just not placing myself high enough on my list of priorities. Which, let’s be honest, isn’t very good, is it? And I know that I do it. But...just, as a Mum or a Dad, Parent etc. We all tend to place ourselves last, don’t we? That’s just how it is really, so I thought stuff that! I’ve had enough of being last and it’s time I started ranking myself a little higher up in the priority line. It’s time we all started ranking ourselves a little higher on the priority line! Whose with me? 

Be Kinder to yourself

I know in the grand scheme of things this can be easier said than done. However, I have been a Mother for 21yrs now {OMG}, I have come to learn that someone will always need you for something. There will always be laundry to do, dishes to wash, socks to roll, pets to clean up after – the list goes on {and on!}. So it’s time to just say to yourself, it’s OK to leave those dishes until morning. Or it is totally fine to ask your child to do something for themselves and so on. It is OK for us to take a time-out and to have a little time to ourselves. Whether it is having a cup of tea and a cheeky chocolate bar, or a soak in the bathtub {with no interruptions}. Or even be able to go for a solo walk in the fresh air to think & mentally recharge. It’s easier than you think to be kinder to yourself if you think about it.

Embrace technology to support your wellness efforts

When someone says technology we often think: smartphones, tablets, laptops — and all the headaches that come with modern living. But sometimes the tech you use can support your wellness efforts. 

Enter Hapbee, a wearable headband that is designed to promote positive feelings using low-frequency magnetic field technology. If you follow Hapbee you’ll be aware of all its signals, but relaxing and restoring are the perfect settings for people looking to be kinder to themselves. 

It’s OK to not be OK

This year, especially, has been tough. With the national lockdown back in March, the homeschooling, then to come out of that and to seem like we’re heading back into it again? It’s a lot. I work in hospitality and I’ve seen it first hand. Whether that’s people not adhering to social distancing, wearing masks, not self-isolating when they should be.

The list does go on & on and that’s only in my workplace. This is all from adult people! People who should know better and be setting an example to others. Adhering to rules & restrictions to help protect other people and themselves. Basically what I am saying is, to come out of furlough, into that environment {alone} has been a lot. It has been stressful and even though I am so incredibly thankful to still have my job, it’s still OK to admit that it’s been a lot. 

Then on top of that, there was the worry surrounding the kids going back to school. That hit me hard to the point I even experienced a panic attack and was out of action for like, two days! It was the most horrendous experience. But again, it’s OK to admit things are and have been hard. So, I am sharing this post of 5 ways to be kinder to yourself because we’re all in the same boat. Literally.

This is a global crisis happening here, so not a single one of us is alone. We can all relate and understand from each other’s perspectives. But you just need to remember as the world is on fire around us? Take those times for yourself. Have that chocolate bar. Leave the dishes. Write down your worries and just be kinder to you. 

Learn to calm your mind

I don’t know about you guys, but I need to stay off the news. For a start! Sure, it’s good to be kept up to speed on new restrictions etc But do not get sucked into it. It will infect your mind to the degree that you have a tsunami of new concerns and heightened worries. None of which are good. So, teach yourself to calm your mind.  

I calm my tornado of a mind in several different ways. I think it depends on what I need at the time. But I can either take a nice long soak in the bath. Candles, chocolate, Netflix – the works! Or I would do a few breathing exercises {which always work!} in particular the 4-7-8 breathing technique.

If you have never tried this, I highly recommend it. It’s actually how I pulled myself back from the peak of my panic attack. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I was still a mess, uncontrollable tears, the shaky hands, heart racing etc. But this breathing method helped me focus on one thing and one thing only and that was to be OK. To reassure me that I am OK and it did work for me. 

Take good care of yourself

This one is a no brainer but it’s also one of the hardest to keep in check. I, as a busy parent, do not eat right or drink enough water and my sleep pattern can be horrendous. However it is vitally important to take care of yourself, or at the very least, try too!

Eat more fruit, go for that long afternoon walk {rain or not!} and make sure you rest when your body tells you too. You are helping no one by burning yourself out, by trying to do everything, keeping everyone else fed and watered and then leaving yourself out. 

Be in your corner

Have your own back. Look at what you have come through this year, so far. Or even years before this one! Believe that you have kicked-ass and that you will continue to kick ass until the end of time. You survived the homeschooling! You’ve stood in queues to get food for your family. Maybe you worked as well as the country shut down to help itself survive. You kept your family home to keep them {and you} safe. You did all that. Hell, we did all that! So give yourself a pat on the back, you’re a badass MF and you need to recognise that. 

So continue to be in your corner. Support yourself. Have your own back and just keep rocking the shit out of life, yeah? You’re smashing it. I for one, still cannot believe that I managed to homeschool a KS1, KS2 and a KS5 for 3 months. And they’re not broken! I may be a little because man was it stressful! But we still managed it and that alone is a huge achievement. 

Stop spreading yourself too thinly

This is a huge problem with me personally. This is something I do all the time. Quite literally, all the time. I am always biting off more than I can chew and I’m too stubborn to wave the white flag! So I will power through, which mostly results in me making myself ill and this process just gets rinsed and repeated. 

So now? To be kinder to me, I give myself realistic to-do lists. I’ll put down 5 things to achieve rather than 20! And I will feel good within myself knowing that I have achieved what I set out to do that day. And the bonus part? I didn’t break myself or put myself down because I couldn’t get everything done. So my advice? To be kinder to yourself! Reduce your to-do list. Say no to things that you will struggle to fit in {rushing helps nobody!} and just be kinder to yourself in a way that doesn’t burn your candle at both ends. 

Have a good old fashioned declutter!

This seems like an odd thing to advise when trying to be kinder to yourself. But stay with me! My house is a clutter-fest and it drives me insane daily. But I also know that having a good declutter session will help my mind feel clearer and my heart a little happier. Here’s why! If we have fewer things in our home, it’s less to clean, right? It is that simple! In turn, this gives us more time to do more of the things we love. Or to enjoy some quiet time because the house is already clean, tidy & smelling fabulous! 

We have a huge declutter session planned for our Half-term holidays, so I cannot wait to get a load of the crap out and for the joy to creep in! We have a few weeks to go before this but I am already excited about the outcome. 

And there you have it. 5 simple ways to be kinder to yourself. This year, so far, has been a doozy and I don’t think it’s quite done with us yet. So please just remember, don’t burn the candle at both ends, have your own back, take time out for yourself to breathe, process and recharge. Don’t take on too much, stay off the news and be safe. 

However, before I go, I would like to know if there is anything I haven’t mentioned in the post, that you do to be kinder to yourself! Leave a comment, I’d love to hear them. 

If you enjoyed this post, then you might also enjoy checking out my Autumn & Winter Skincare routine.