When lockdown started to feel…normal…
We have been in lockdown for … 5 weeks or so now {I *think* we’re in week 6, but all the days & weeks are blending into one big space/time continuum!} and everything that comes with it, are beginning to feel, normal. From the limited visits to the shop for food. Our one-hour daily exercise, outdoors! Only being able to buy essential items. One packet of toilet roll per person, debit card payments only if you can, queuing to even get into the shop and of course, social distancing and staying 2m apart from everyone else. It is crazy how normal all of that is beginning to feel.
The hardest part, in my opinion, {alongside all of the takeaways being closed!}, has been the homeschooling {home learning, home-ed, distance learning – whatever you wish to call it}. Let’s get one thing clear. I am not a teacher and I won’t lie, it’s been tough, but it’s also been fun. However, over time, we have {thankfully} found our rhythm and seem to be making it through the tasks and projects {set by their teachers} with both good days & bad days. Hurrah to that! However, there is always that underlying feeling if I am doing enough. Am I helping them be ready for their next school year? Considering everything else going on? Those are the feelings that are kicking me in the butt. Hard!
Thinking about whether I am preparing them enough or not, is most likely contributing to my inability to sleep. I am going to bed reasonably early and doing what I usually do i.e. self-care, some TV and just general ‘me-time’. And even though I am falling to sleep easily enough, the dreams soon set in, feeling as realistic as I am typing these words now. I wake up and that’s that. I’m awake. Eyes burning with tiredness but my mind refuses to switch off to allow me to get back to sleep. Story of my life, lately. Can you relate?
What does help is that my Husband is now at home as well. In fairness, he has worked from home for over a year now, but now that he was made furloughed, like me, he is available throughout the day, which is handy. Teamwork and all that jazz!
As a whole. This lockdown has been far from easy. For the first month, I was fine. The kids all had their own personal wobbles and even now continue to have good days & bad days. I’m sure we can all relate! But up until recently, it has been me that hasn’t been handling any of this very well at all. I don’t think the issue is having to stay at home because that has become quite normal now. When normally we are quite an outdoorsy family! But it’s more the realisation of what we have missed up to this point. Trips to the movies, the local bowling alley, a walk to the local play park and even the beach! Those things we are going to continue to miss the longer this goes on. That is what is messing me up.
Our summer holiday, like many others, has had to be postponed until Summer 2021. Which sucks, but the children understand why. After the lockdown, we had hopes of visiting some of our favourite places, but I understand that might not even be possible either. Everything from birthdays {including my 40th} and other celebrations are either on hold or cancelled entirely. So, from this point, do we just write-off 2020 as a bust? Do we accept that our 2020 objective is to stay home, stay safe and wait for all of this to blow over?
However, on the upside, cakes and treats make everything better and we have been baking … a lot! Our latest creation was a batch of delicious Wookie Cookies for Star Wars Day and they tasted incredible! Super simple recipe and they’re loads of fun to make.
Overall, I have this weird feeling that the world won’t be quite the same after this is behind us. Which is a daunting thought, right? But it is what it is and I think as normal as all of the crazy feels now, it’s still a weird situation and one that won’t be forgotten anytime soon! Which is 100% true. Having to use the terms, such as “rationing” and “lockdown” haven’t been used since the Second World War! Not to mention, seeing people wearing latex gloves and face masks – it’s all a little insane, right?
Anyways, that’s my weekly waffle update blurbed onto my little blog. I hope that wherever you are that you are safe, well & keeping it all together!
