5 steps to maintain a better home & work life balance
I’m a walking ball of chaos. I have no real routine, structure or plan. I sort of just take every day as it comes, by the hour etc and so forth. And I think we can all agree that is no real way to live. As well as that, looking around me, my home reflects the chaos too. Which we can agree just adds to the madness, right? So, as I sit here, typing this I am fully aware of my lack of motivation, my fatigue and I know that this needs to change. I am a woman in my 40s and I can unashamedly raise my hand and admit that I do not have my shit together. I need a better home & work life balance!
Not having your shit together in your 40s is OK.
There is no shame in not having the ‘Instagram life’ that we scroll through each morning. Seeing those with family members to mind the kids, more than one car to get to work easily in. Watching people meal prep for the week! Which is something, quite frankly, I would like to know where they get the time for and where they even store it! And we won’t even touch the laundry situation, right? Because as I sit here I have a wash that has just finished in the machine. There is also laundry that needs putting away on the sofa and more laundry on the heated airer that needs folding to also be put away. I know I am not alone in thinking that it multiplies when we aren’t looking directly at it.
At this moment in time, I feel as though I am constantly running uphill and getting nowhere. And as a result of that, I am forever infected with fatigue and the lack of motivation to do it all over again. The struggle is real and it’s not like I don’t try! But every time I clean up or fix something, something else breaks. Or the living room or kitchen, bathroom or bedroom is right back to where it was the day before.
Things need to change
I say these words to myself on a daily basis but then the lack of motivation and tiredness raise their heads and nothing gets done, on that particular day. These days get rinsed and repeated over and over and then voila. We reach this point. Yet another revelation of things needing to change. It’s such a familiar place but one that I am very bored of seeing time and time again.
So, things need to change for good this time because I am losing days of enjoyment and fun. I am losing out on having time to myself or with my children! Losing out on making, baking and creating to make my soul happy. Yes, I work full time but beyond those working hours? I am cleaning, cooking, breaking up sibling battles, decorating and so on. I would love to be able to come home to a clean home! One that was tidied the day before and remained so for longer than 5mins! A tidy living room to be enjoyed and somewhere to curl up with my kids as we have our daily catch up. The same applies to every other room in our house.
My life right now consists of work, cleaning, sorting, filing and fixing. I am done. This is not a nice way to live and I for one am not having fun. So, here are a few things I am going to implement into my days to provide a much better home & work life balance.
5 steps to maintain a better home & work life balance
Whatever sort of day I have, whether it’s been a day at work or one at home. I always aim to do what I can to make the following day easier for everyone, including myself. Whether it is a simple move of laying out the uniforms, making the school lunches, putting school shoes in a line. Whatever it is, I do believe it is the little things that matter the most. Little gestures of care and attention in among the madness of a busy household. If your current workplace does not support and prioritize your work-life balance, you may change it. As an option, you can apply for overseas positions and consider a career in the bank abroad to look for better companies.
My aim is to feel content and fulfilled in both aspects of my life, whether that be home or work. Because at the moment? I do not. I am constantly tired, stressed and overwhelmed by everything that needs to be done. And with that stress, comes villainous aspects that cause the lack of motivation, fatigue, poor diet and so on. It feels like an endless merry-go-round that I really, really want to get off of.
Start Small
Looking back at my past attempts, I am an all-in or nothing kind of girl. I always jump in with two feet and hope I swim. But looking back to those times? I can see where I went wrong and that no matter how excited, confident or impulsive you are? It’s always OK to take baby steps when starting something new.
Starting small means there is less chance of overwhelm, added pressure, injury and burnout. All of which I am guilty of adding onto myself when I haven’t started small in my attempts in the past. So, here I am learning from my mistakes and aiming to start small.
Prioritise your health
This is one thing that I flitter in and out of doing. And I get so annoyed at myself for stopping something that was doing great things for me. For example, I started the Couch 2 5K journey a few years back and recently bought Ring Fit Adventure for the Nintendo Switch and both did great things for me. Why did I stop them? The Couch 2 5K was due to an old knee injury and realising that running just wasn’t for me. And the Ring Fit? I guess somewhere in among our crazy lifestyle my self-care priorities got shifted to care for someone else.
So, this is an exciting move in my aim to maintain a good work and home life balance. To prioritise my health. This could be making better choices when I am eating and definitely making time to exercise more. Even if it means taking the stairs instead of the lift at work.
Make time for Family time
My husband and I both work full time. My three younger kids {at home} are all on their own school journeys. Whether it is Primary school, High school or 6th Form experiences. It can all get a little crazy when everyone has their own lives, responsibilities and priorities. So, making time for my kids after work, after their homework, during dinner, before bedtime, whenever works! It is vital for me to catch up with them whenever I can.
Having dinner at the table {sadly} doesn’t always work for us due to work finish times, after school clubs, evening activities and more. As much as I wish we were one of those family dinners at the table families, we just aren’t, sadly. And my shifts are not 9 to 5, so there could be some days I am home at the same time they get home from school, or I am getting home at 11 pm at night. Either way, I make time whenever possible and that’s one aspect of my life that has been a constant. So I will continue to make that a focus, regardless of the shape of everything else.
Prioritise Quality Time
I aim this quality time for myself. Me. The Mama. It is so easy, when you have a busy home & work life to get overwhelmed. So, my favourite time of the day is when everyone is fed, watered and content. I can then find time for myself to do my skincare routine, have a luscious bath, or just watch some TV in bed with some snacks. Whatever my quality time entails, I make it apparent to do this every day because we need it, right/?
Forget about Perfection
This has been one of my biggest hurdles. Because I have always strove for perfection. I don’t know the root to why I do, I just know I do. And now I am in my forties, I know this is not needed or necessary. In reality perfection doesn’t really exist, so why strive for it? I have taught myself to reach my own level of perfect, which is feeling content and happy within our home. The housework is not done to impress anyone else. I don’t plan to install any fancy fireplaces because Karen down the street has one! I reach for my own level of happiness and I am now happy to forget the perfection.
These 5 steps to help me gain a better work & home life balance has really played a big part in my day to day living. Learning to start small, to make time for the little things, prioritise my health and self care routine. Even to make time in among the madness to enjoy moments with family. Even something as simple as to make sure I belly laugh once a day!
Every moment is worth it and I now go to bed at night knowing I have done all I can as a Mother, Wife, Daughter & all round good human bean. Maybe try these steps out for yourself, if you feel that you need a little help maintaining a better work & home life balance. My comment box and emails are always open if you need to ask anything, or just talk!
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