So, How Are You Supposed To Ask For Mental Health Help To Begin With?

There’s a great amount of talk about how important discussions surrounding mental health are, and of course, the premise and intention of those conversations are excellent. It’s important to be vocal if you’re struggling, to not be ashamed of having a hard time, and to know many people suffer, and many issues are treatable.

All that is well and good. But “ask for help” can seem like something of a platitude if you’re not sure how to do that in the first place. Funnily enough, the details are often left to us as soon as that insight is given. But asking for help isn’t always that easy. We might feel somewhat worried about doing so, even. We may worry about what people think of us. Perhaps we have a secret that we’ve been trying to hide from others out of shame, like a substance abuse problem. Being ready to tackle that head-on isn’t exactly a walk in the park, otherwise everyone would do it without hesitation.

So – how are you supposed to ask for mental health help to begin with? Well, in this humble guide, we hope to provide a few measures you can use for achieving exactly that. We hope that with such insight, you can feel a little more courageous to reach out, even if that means doing so on your own terms.

• Think About The Genuine Benefits

It’s easy to assume that asking for help is the start of a long, hard journey that will be intolerable at times, and so avoiding that approach can feel like a natural step. But the truth is that you have so much more to gain by reaching out to a trusted relative or friend in your life than not.

For example, if you have a substance abuse problem, then a service such as Addictions UK could help you detox in a structured manner, even within your own home. Sure, the recovery process isn’t always a walk in the park, but your days will have so much more meaning and relief knowing you’re finally on the right path. 

Moreover, reaching out can help you connect with your friends or relatives, share a burden that’s been troubling you, avoid the difficulty of managing on your own, or finally vent the shame you might have had. 

In other words, there are real, tangible ways your life improves when you ask for help or admit a difficulty. It’s not just hardship and heavy emotions, though that’s certainly an element. However, just like how most people thank themselves for running or exercising when they didn’t feel like it given how satisfied they feel after, you’d be amazed at how positive your experience can be.

• Understand What You Need Help With

You don’t have to undergo therapeutic training or gain a mental health qualification to admit you’ve been having a hard time. Moreover, you don’t have to be the perfect patient to find some kind of recovery.

There are also dedicated mental health facilities that can provide support. They have the necessary resources such as councilers, mental health furniture such as chairs for mental health hospitals; everything to make you feel comfortable and get treated quicker.

However, it’s good to think about what you’d like real help with. This is because it’s hard for others to just assume and assist you without a little direction. Even if it’s as simple as “I’m having a real tough time as a new mother and need help” or “I’m very much struggling with my weight and would love some help,” being able to identify your troubles is key.

This allows you to not only communicate your worries but do so to the right person. For example, if you’ve come back from active service in the military, speaking to a therapist with experience treating soldiers can be a fantastic idea, because they may speak the language you do. If you can trust your parent or grandparent given how great they’ve been at raising children, you can trust them to help you raise your own.

Above all of that though is to find someone who helps you feel safe and comforted, and someone who is willing to listen. They don’t have to get rid of your worries with a click of their fingers (and they can’t anyway), but being with someone who is willing to listen can be a great idea.

• You Don’t Need A Perfect Solution Right Away

One of the reasons people often neglect asking for help, no matter what they’re struggling with, is that the road to recovery or assistance can seem way too long and too intense. Moreover, because life without that current difficulty isn’t something you’re experiencing, it can be hard to picture such a change. Change of any kind is scary, but especially one where you feel positive and may just get what you need.

However, the truth is you don’t need a perfect solution right away. For example, if you have an alcohol addiction, the fix isn’t to stop cold turkey as this could harm you and even be lethal. It’s about a slow tapering off, supported by those near you, and with the intention of building sustainable life change one brick at a time.

So, don’t worry, because you don’t need to go through the entire self-help protocol in one day. You just need to put one foot in front of the other. You can consider asking for help to be that first step, which you likely have the energy to do. That’s all you need to think about right now.

• Be Open & Honest

Holding back secrets is never going to help. People keep secrets for all kinds of reasons. Maybe you’ve been struggling at work and are currently on a performance improvement plan. But the real reason you’re trying to hide your issues is because of a substance abuse problem you’ve been trying to hide. You assume that if people learned of this, they would think of you as a bad person, irredeemable, someone who is a strict liability.

But you may be surprised just how redemptive asking for help can be. They may even help enrol you into a program, put you in touch with the mental health support of your HR program, or give you some time off work to recover. Being open and honest is important because you can’t heal a little bit and at your own convenience. To help resolve a mental health struggle, working on its entirety without shame is the only real option you should consider.

• Just Ask

The real truth about asking for help is that you don’t have to do it perfectly. We’ve given advice here, but you don’t have to dance around a million rules or present yourself in the best way or only ask at the right time. If you need help, just ask for it.

After all, if you were to fall over and break a bone, you wouldn’t wait until the time felt right before you sought after medical attention. You would simply go for it, and allow the emergency room staff to care for you. Moreover, you wouldn’t feel ashamed of having a broken bone, you would just want it to be healed as soon as possible.

 The same could be said for mental health care. Now, that doesn’t mean you can impress your entire caring needs on someone and expect them to solve everything for you. But opening that dialogue allows you to admit your truth, and benign working on a plan to find the right resources. This will happen even if you ask awkwardly and shly, or if you do it with the best possible plan. In other words, help is there no matter how you ask for it, though of course, politeness and care is important.

• Be Willing To Engage

Finally, it’s important to recognize that you have to want to get better. Without that, nothing will happen, and no one will really assist you as they’d like to. We sometimes see this with people who struggle with addictions – they might not be truly “over” the idea of taking the substance, and as such, asking for help can only cause a yo-yo- effect.

While mental health can be dizzying, and confusing, and cause you to act in ways you might not expect or be fully responsible for, having the realization and desire for change can push you along even during your worst moment. Does that mean you’re always going to be 100% motivated and happy during recovery? Far from it. But it’s important to remember that people who help you also have their own lives to manage. They will be happy to suspend that and help you, even in little ways. But to do so, we must understand what we’re asking of people, and be at least heartfelt in our desire not to waste that. If you’re not perfect in recovery that’s fine, but a broader commitment to change is what anyone needs to keep that support around.

With this advice, you’ll be certain to ask for help with mental health or any affecting condition you’re unsure of. Those first few words can be the toughest, but you’ll soon find that once you unplug the cork, all that pent-up worry comes flooding out.

With this advice, you’ll be certain to ask for the help you need.

*This is a collabortive post