How Super Busy Mums Balance Raising Children and Caring for Ageing Parents
You might already be a busy mum but what if you also have the responsibility of caring for ageing parents? It’s a reality for more than 1.3 million people in the UK who find themselves in the sandwich generation. The term was first coined in 1981 and describes a generation sandwiched in the middle of elderly parents and children who aren’t yet independent. Juggling the needs of two different generations can feel overwhelming and stressful and not leave you with time for much else. However, there’s no shame in reaching out for help. Even supermums need support. Whether delegating tasks to other relatives or making the most of respite opportunities, there’s a variety of resources available to help you avoid burnout while caring for your loved ones.
Who Are The Sandwich Generation?
People in the ‘sandwich generation’ are likely to be women (although plenty of men also fill this role) aged between 30 and 50 and are actively supporting their ageing parents and dependent children, whether physically, financially, emotionally or all three. With increasing life expectancy combined with rising childcare costs, more mums than ever before are finding themselves having to shoulder this dual role and for longer. They may also be juggling this dual role with working part- or full-time, adding on even more pressure. Being a sandwich carer can be incredibly rewarding and an opportunity to spend time with loved ones. But it can also take an immense toll, leaving people feeling stressed, exhausted, and even guilty that they may not be able to give enough time or energy to their children or parents.
Practical Ways To Manage Sandwich Caregiving
Successfully juggling the demands and responsibilities of caring for dependent children and ageing parents requires good organisation, planning and support. Time management is imperative, including creating a structured routine with planned breaks to avoid feeling overwhelmed or exhausted. Making the most of apps, shared family calendars or reminders can help you keep track of events, appointments and important tasks. Don’t be afraid to delegate! Involve siblings, partners and older children to help with household or caregiving tasks. You can also ease the pressure using professional services such as meal delivery services or home carers. Be open with your parents and children, making sure that boundaries are clear. Most importantly, allow yourself to ask for help.
The Importance Of Respite
As much as you may want to support your parents and children, you also need to prioritise your own well-being. After all, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Respite can provide a much-needed break, whether by hiring a professional carer at home for a few hours, utilising daycare centres or sharing caring duties with other family members. Even using respite care to take just a few moments of self-care, whether reading a book, taking a morning walk or spending some time doing a hobby, can make a big difference to your mental health. If you have young children, consider whether you can afford extra childcare for a few hours break or ask a friend to look after them occasionally. Remember, to be a good carer, you have to look after your own health and well-being.
Set Boundaries And Manage Expectations
While you may always want to try your best to do everything for everyone, you must learn to say no and establish clear boundaries, especially when it comes to your valuable time and resources. It’s common for people in the sandwich generation to feel as if they’ve no choice but to continue giving a high level of support. However, it’s crucial that you’re honest with yourself about the tool dual caring is taking on your own health and well-being. After all, if you become unwell, you won’t be able to care for anyone. You should, therefore, consider setting some boundaries that clearly outline when you are and aren’t available. This will help to manage expectations and avoid burnout, resentment, and overwhelming stress.
Balancing the needs of your children and ageing parents is no easy feat, but with the right support, planning and, importantly, self-care, you provide care across generations.
*This is a collaborative post
