Mummy, can you buy me a bra?

Yesterday I took the children out after school to get some final bits for our holiday. As we were picking up some jammies for the toddler, my eldest daughter asked me a question that I didn’t think I’d hear for a few years yet…

“Mummy, do you think you could buy me a bra?”

I stopped in my tracks, helping my very tired brain process the question. Thoughts whizzing and screaming inside my head of “But she’s only nine”, “Is she feeling pressured in school?” and all the while trying to rectify the expression of shock that I was looking at her with. My shock quickly soothed and was replaced by sadness and understanding. 

I asked “Why do you want one of those sweetie?”
“Well, not a bra exactly, a crop top! All the other girls in class wear them!” she exclaimed.

“Oh” I replied. “Maybe we’ll get some at the weekend” I said.
“Ok” she responded, with a shy look on her face. 

I actually felt my heart crack. I’m scared for her. Growing up as a girl is tough and the fact those pressures seem to be starting from a younger age, makes me so terrified for her. I grew up with all of the pressures and other glorys of becoming a woman {psssst periods} on my own. As being a young girl being raised by her Dad I found it a difficult thing to bring it up over a meal at the table!

I know Ellie is a couple of years off that yet, but it’s hanging up there over her beautiful young head, waiting to drop onto her shoulders. I need to be there for her, to listen, help her understand the goings on of change {when they occur!} and I hope I can be everything she needs me to be as she enters into a world of new experiences. 

Why didn’t I buy her some crop tops there & then? Honestly, I’ve no idea. I think I just went into shut-down mode that this sort of thing wasn’t happening, she is still just a little girl, or at least that’s how I see her. How I will forever see her. But I do know there will come a time where I need to see her in a different light. 

My little girl is growing up and there isn’t a damn thing that I can do to stop it, or slow her down. As her Mother, I’m going to have to put myself into the mindset of a young girl, soon to be flying out of little girl-ville & heading straight for womanhood in a just a few short years. 



  1. Lucie Aiston
    29/05/2014 / 10:14 AM

    OMG Debs!! My Izzy is 11 and just moved on from crop tops to more of a bra type thing!! I hate it!! I could have cried! She called me into the bathroom when she was in the bath the other day to ask me some football related question (lol) and I noticed that she has started developing! Waaaahhh! I don’t like it!! What happened to my little girl?! (who is now 11, 5ft 2 and has size 6 feet!) 🙁 xx

    • Deborah Patrick
      29/05/2014 / 10:21 AM

      Gosh Lucie, don’t! My heart is in pieces here, because that question from Ellie was the start of it wasn’t it! What age did Izzy go into crop tops? Ellies feet are going into a size 3, so I think she’ll have big feet too the older she gets. Means she’ll be good and tall too hopefully and not have her Mummys shorty gene, lol. xx

    • Lucie Aiston
      29/05/2014 / 10:26 AM

      She was about 9 too I’m sure. Makes me eyes go a bit watery! 🙁 Secondary school september! Now that WILL make me cry lol! xx

    • Deborah Patrick
      29/05/2014 / 10:28 AM

      I am in and out of crying myself this morning. Such an emotional feeling that I never felt with my boys. Boys are completely different, whereas our girls need a bit more protection from the world you know. So she’s about the right age for them then, that’s grand. We’ll have a girly afternoon after our race for life this Sunday then! Jeez, secondary school already! Ellies going into P6 this September and my eldest goes into Fourth year! GET ME THE TISSUES! lol xx

    • Lucie Aiston
      29/05/2014 / 10:34 AM

      Awwww (((((hugs))))) i agree with the emotions and that it is different for boys! Have a great afternoon together on Sunday hun xxx

    • Deborah Patrick
      29/05/2014 / 10:45 AM

      Thanks chicken, will do!! xxx

  2. Late For Reality
    29/05/2014 / 10:20 AM

    Oh your little girlie is growing up! My sister is 13 and we faced similar things with her a few years ago. I think sometimes its a case of when they all get changed for PE they notice some girls wear them and its pressure. I would go for a little vest top with a built in support that she can wear under her school shirts to feel more covered up. Bless her 🙂 xx

    • Deborah Patrick
      29/05/2014 / 10:23 AM

      This was my thoughts Jade. Her classes started swimming lessons there a few weeks ago and this is the first time that anything like this has been brought up, cue my shock! But I get it you know, changing in the rooms, other girls putting them on and your not, I can get how that would make her feel 🙁 She doesn’t need support at all, no development yet {thankfully!!} but I do think I’ll take her in to pick a wee vest packet or something at the weekend. Treat her to lunch too. Feel like she needs a wee treat >.< xx

  3. Life With Munchers
    29/05/2014 / 10:54 AM

    Oh gosh! Its a had transition for everyone isnt it? Time goes too quickly x

  4. Bethan Sian
    29/05/2014 / 11:19 AM

    Aw bless her!
    I grew up with my Dad too.
    Lucky she has you ther, and she actually asked you too! That’s a good thing!
    Growing up so quick. Im dreading that time with my girls and theyre only 4 & 2!! xx

  5. Kim Carberry
    29/05/2014 / 11:30 AM

    Aww! Bless her and hugs to you!!
    My girl has just started wearing bras….She’s 11 and started to develop…..She started wearing crop tops a couple of years ago and it didn’t bother me so much it’s the bras that worry me….It means she’s growing up and I don’t like it at all!!

  6. James Gibson
    29/05/2014 / 12:11 PM

    Hey debs thanks for linking up ! I don’t know how I will deal with this with Olivia obviously ill look to Katy for a lot of guidance but I do not just want to do the stereotypical that’s for you mother to deal with. Obviously I’d imagine she will be embarrassed talking to me about it, I guess I can just be supportive and kick the boys butts for taunting her !

  7. Sara Murray
    29/05/2014 / 2:17 PM

    Oh, I’m way off this yet, but I do think about it. Having had the boys first, there is so much that is new having had the wee girl. I do worry more for her, or at least in a different way. It’s bittersweet isn’t it, it’s exciting to see the young people they are turning in to, but sad that our babies are growing up x #brillblogposts

  8. Sian PottyMouthedMummy
    29/05/2014 / 8:01 PM

    Oh bless her. You handled that all really well but gosh it’s tough as they get older and head into that big bold world! Lovely sentiments in this post, really enjoyed reading it #brilliantblogposts xxx

  9. 29/05/2014 / 9:24 PM

    oh bless! my sister is 12 and has those little training bra things and i just look at her like “you’re so wee! you cant wear one of those yet” haha

  10. 29/05/2014 / 10:12 PM

    9?!?!?! Oh wow. Everything happens earlier doesn’t it!? That means I have just over 6 years before I’m buying crop tops…! x

  11. Shay Noble
    30/05/2014 / 12:52 PM

    Oh bless her. Well done for handling it so well 🙂 It’s such a difficult time isn’t it. I remember reaching this phase myself but it seems scarier seeing our children reach it (although mine has a few years yet) #brilliantblogposts x

  12. Mrs Average
    30/05/2014 / 1:24 PM

    I have a ten-year-old daughter so I can empathise with the turmoil of emotions you are going through. Thanks for writing so honestly and openly about it. It’s comforting to know that other mums out there share the same hopes and fears for their girls. #PoCoLo

  13. Katie @mummydaddyme
    30/05/2014 / 2:25 PM

    This must have really pulled at your emotions Debs, I have all this to come. It’s so bittersweet watching them grow up. x

  14. 30/05/2014 / 7:58 PM

    Aww this is so sweet, my baby is only 1 but this post took me back to my own “training bras” and crop tops…it was a really difficult and emotional time in my life, I wish your little lady lots of luck and happiness in the years ahead!

  15. 30/05/2014 / 8:51 PM

    We just had this with my Ellie (also 9!!!), I begrudgingly bough her some, mainly because I can vividly remember wearing them when I was young, I also remember the tellings of we got previous to the crop top wearing for ‘stretching’ the vests we had ( you know the whole twisting the bottom and hooking it through the top? Please tell me you know what I mean and Im not just babbling!!! x

  16. Barefoot Mahala
    30/05/2014 / 10:56 PM

    my daughter is only 3, but this is certainly something that I worry about. My sons are 1 and 8 and my eldest already wants to be older than he is, but I worry about it more with my daughter. Why can’t they stay children until *we’re* ready for them to grow up?

  17. 31/05/2014 / 1:39 PM

    Oh goodness I remember the first time I wore those sanitary napkin and used the wrong way. Say it with me> OUCH! Children really grows fast. =) #pocolo

  18. Charlotte Paulsson
    31/05/2014 / 4:35 PM

    Aww don’t they grow up so fast! At least she was brave enough to ask you about it though, I remember noticing I needed a bra one PE lesson haha! I was mortified and didn’t know what to do 🙂 Luckily my Mum had also noticed and very discreetly took me for a girly shopping day x

  19. Catriona Stephen
    31/05/2014 / 8:39 PM

    Was trying to think back at what age we started wearing crop tops then onto bras. I think girls are growing up faster and faster! It’s also scary how fast time flies by!! #PoCoLo

  20. 31/05/2014 / 9:10 PM

    My daughter is 11 and wears crop tops – I think as soon as she moved to year 6 she said all the girls wore them so definitely some peer pressure involved. #pocolo

  21. Honest Mum
    01/06/2014 / 9:12 AM

    Bless her sweetie and you, it’s hard when they grow up so quickly. I was the first girl at prep school to wear a bra aged 10 and remember the boys and girls pulling up my shirt for a look, it was all a little weird although I’m glad I got it sorted as the support helped and in a weird way I felt special, all the other girls came to me for advice on theirs after. Thanks for linking up to #brilliantblogposts

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